“Hurt people, hurt people”…..this is a phrase I’m sure we’ve all heard at least once. Question: Just because you’re hurt does that give you the right to hurt someone else? ABSOLUTELY NOT! The reason being is because more than likely the person you’re hurting isn’t the one who hurt you to begin with.
How it may look when you’re hurt and interacting with others, you may:
-transfer your inner anger/hurt onto family/friends
-be so into your hurt that you become unaware that you’re hurting others
-engage in activities to help you run away from reality [excessive drinking, drug use, entertainment, etc.]–negative coping mechanisms
-stay busy with things, such as work to keep your mind off what you need to work on
-get into it with others because you’re easily “triggered”
-carry a victim spirit when engaging with others [hard time connecting with others, can’t trust anyone]
-interpret everything with your pain in mind [they’re going to hurt me just like ____ did]
The scars you may wear might not be your fault, but your healing is your responsibility. It’s up to you to take the necessary steps to heal yourself. Sometimes that can be you on a soul search alone or you might have to go to therapy for professional help. Everyone’s healing process is different; always do what’s best for you. You’ll also be behind when it comes to your emotional maturity. For instance, if someone hurt you at the age of 12 and you never heal from it; it’s possible your maturity will remain at a 12 year old level. Try not to hang on to what hurt you for a long time.
What about when it’s time to have children or if you end up getting hurt while already being a parent? You should heal because your child/children doesn’t deserve the broken version of you. When you bring a child into this world they won’t have a perfect parent, but they deserve someone who takes care of themselves. A parent who takes care of themselves can take care of their children even better.
LET’S SHIFT GEARS-THE OTHER SIDE!
Just because you know someone in your life is hurting it doesn’t mean you have to stand by and let them inflict their pain on you. Some things you can do in regards to their behavior:
–RECOGNIZE the behavior, but don’t play into it
–CREATE a safe space where they can be themselves and share their hurt
–SHARE how they’re making you feel
–DECIDE if the friendship/relationship is worth being apart of
I hope this helps you if you’re going through a rough time or if you ever find yourself in a hurt place. I hope you remember something from this post that will help. I’M FOREVER ROOTING FOR YOU! REMEMBER YOUR HEALING IS IN YOUR HANDS! Until next time!
