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There’s two different states life will have you tugging from throughout everyday life. 

1. State of Positivity: someone who is optimistic; often look for solutions during difficult times; and overall looks for results and success 
2. State of Negativity: someone who is pessimistic; often expects the worst; and normally is downbeat.

As stated above there will be times where you won’t have any problems being positive; then there will be days where it’s hard to even have one positive thought based on everything that’s taking place within your life. Throughout life it’s important to note that you’re in control of what state you view things.

There are individuals who go through things and have it set in their heads, “no matter what’s going on I know one day it will get better.” Then, there’s others who feed off negativity; those who seem to enjoy when drama, “bad” things are happening in other’s life, and/or toxicness is taking place. It’s something that some of us will never be able to understand, but there are definitely people out there that are like this.

There are 2 types of people:

1. Positive: loves to hear other’s ideas/accomplishments and are always excited for them
2. Negative: “Debbie Downers”, those who could care less about others doing good and express reasons on why the idea won’t prosper

In knowing this there are some people who have a hard time being happy for those who are taking promotions, opening a business, and a lot of other accomplishments. Sometimes you may find yourself sharing what seems like exciting news to someone and you may get a dry response in return. This may cause you to become less motivated and/or no longer excited about what you had planned.  

Here’s some ways you can block out negativity: 

-Don’t take other people’s negativity personally

-Surround yourself with positive people

-Focus on solutions to “problems” you may have

-_Realize that life has a series of ups and down

–Acknowledge the down moments, accept them, and change what you have control over

-_Focus on today

–You can’t take back your past and you can’t control the future

Don’t let anything/anyone distract you from what you’re planning and preparing for. Normally those who are negative majority of the time have become content and don’t want more out of life. So things like taking a leap of faith, starting that business, etc. sounds fearful for them and they’ll usually place their fears onto others.
Learn how to protect your peace; you don’t have to tell everybody everything. Stay true to the goals you’ve set for yourself and plan everyday to work towards accomplishing those goals. Everyone won’t be happy for you, but it’s up to you to make yourself proud. ALWAYS REMEMBER, DEMI IS ROOTING FOR YOU! ALL POSITIVE VIBES!

Times have evolved over the years and has become a lot more advanced, especially when it comes to technology. When it comes to social media we all have access to it! It’s right at our fingertips with our cell phones whenever we want to use it. I’m sure we all can agree that people use social media in different ways.

Positive Ways To Use Social Media:

-Networking

-Building a Personal and/or Business Brand

-Inspiring

-Enhancing Communication

-Reviewing and Sharing Views-Debate

-Access Knowledge–Faster Awareness to News going on around the world

Negative Ways To Use Social Media:

-Cyberbullying: hiding behind a keyboard bullying others

-Social Comparison: comparing your life to someone else’s

-Hiding Behind Social Media: pretending to be someone you’re not

-Financial Information: stealing other’s information

-Distracting: If you’re spending a lot of time on social media and not accomplishing goals

If social media is used irresponsibly it could potentially affect someone in a negative way. It can damage one’s self-esteem; when one isn’t mentally strong enough to consume certain content it could trigger something. 

When it comes to anything you choose to indulge in you should look to use it in a positive light. The main thing around karma; what you put out 9/10 will come back 10 fold. So the next time you’re on social media do something that will help make the world a better place; not something that is used to boost your ego.

When one is transitioning from a kid into an adult we try our best to have everything figured out. 

Things far as:

-Are you going to college?

-What type of career will you have?

-Do you want to get married? If so, by what age?

-Do you want kids? If so, how many and by what age?

We spend time doing so much planning, but nine times out of ten none of which you had planned goes that exact way. Even if it does go your way and you begin to cross goals off your list there more than likely was moments/obstacles that you didn’t have planned that came about.  

When it comes to life, change is going to happen rather we like it or not. You can’t control all the things that will happen, but there is something you can control. It’s up to you to make sure you have a mindset to not get defeated. 

You have to push through no matter what you’re up against. The power of not giving up will help you in the end!! Outlasting your circumstances will pay off in the end, even if it doesn’t seem like you’re going to get through it.

Also, don’t let your age hold you back from getting to where you want to be. Some goals have probably gotten put on hold because of parenting, financial stability, illness, and amongst other things. Through all of those things you’re in control of what you put the most work and effort into. No matter how old you get it’s never too late to accomplish the goals you’ve always wanted to. Use your age as something positive; with age you’ve gained more experience and learned a lot of things. Don’t get discouraged; as always I’M ROOTING FOR YOU!!

We are living in a society where Mental Health doesn’t come off as something important as it should. Everyone thinks about the aspect of someone abusing alcohol and drugs, eating a bad diet with no desire to stop, lashing out on people they care about, and so on as just people being crazy or they’re considered “dumb” for harming themselves physically. 

But what about the mental state of an individual?? No one is considering this, but it’s just the constant gossiping of what the individual is doing “wrong”. No one is stopping to think that an individual could be dealing with stress/grief and coping in a negative way or dealing with childhood trauma and anxiety. Let’s talk a little bit more on the subject at hand.

Myths About Mental Health:

-You can control your symptoms

-Therapy/Self-Help is a waste of time; medication is the only solution

-People “are” their mental illness

-Children don’t experience mental health

Facts to the Above Myths About Mental Health:

-Believing someone can control their illness is simply unhelpful. Telling them to “cheer up” and “not to worry” does nothing. It’ll also add on more layers of pain and shame

-Treatment varies depending on the illness and the individual. Therapy, medication, or both could be prescribed

-You’re not your diagnosis; you’re a person dealing/coping with an illness

-Young people can show early signs of mental health concerns, but it may go untreated because of the lack of knowledge of the parent/family

Reasons Why People Don’t Get Treated:

-Lack of Insight/Information

-Fear and Shame

-Feelings of Inadequacy/Failure

-Distrust: opening up to a counselor/doctor

I’ve seen several times where someone states they’re depressed, having suicidal thoughts, battling with anxiety, and more but it wasn’t taken seriously. Especially in the African American community; most of us believe that “just” praying will solve everything. I am a spiritual person who prays daily, but I do recognize that with praying and doing some work towards the matter will produce better results. 

Next time you see someone doing things and it’s either out of their character or something that has become repeated behavior; how about you simply ask them how they’re doing, why they choose to do the things they’re doing, or is there anything you can do to help? 

If the person is willing to talk, which for the most part people are but when you’re only judged and not asked how you’re doing that’s when the response is nowhere near positive. Those questions could lead to you checking on their physical, emotional, and mental state. Until next time!!!

Distractions, distractions, distractions!!!! We all have them; no matter if we create them ourselves or they come about throughout our day. We’re gonna go through the types of distractions and ways to get through them.

2 Types of Distractions:

1. You can control
2. You can not control

Along with these two types of distractions they can either be annoying or fun. 

Some examples of these distractions:

-social media

-phone calls/text messages

-mandatory meetings

-loud coworkers  

Ways to get through distractions:

-identify them and eliminate them ahead of time

-plan your day/week around things that could potentially serve as a distraction

-schedule breaks: where you can address voicemails, emails, and return calls/texts

-learn to say “no”: don’t try and make everyone happy at the expense of your own needs

-set artificial deadlines: create deadlines to ensure progress
No matter what distractions come about make sure you maintain tunnel vision at all times. This way you can have all your thoughts set on your goals.  Once your goals are identified, it’s up to you to set boundaries. STARVE YOUR DISTRACTIONS; FEED YOUR FOCUS!! No one can accomplish your goals for you, so make sure you do what’s best for you and your success! Until next time!

Appreciation; this word doesn’t mean the same to everyone. Referring to the definition, appreciation means the recognition and enjoyment of good qualities of someone or something. People have different ways of expressing their appreciation and gratitude. No matter how you choose to express your appreciation, you should make sure it is done.  

Reasons to Express Appreciation/Gratitude:

-It can improve your relationship/friendship

-It makes us less self-centered/increases self-esteem

-Allows  us to celebrate the present

-Blocks toxic, negative emotions

Ways to Express Appreciation/Gratitude:

-Always say thank you and say sorry when needed

-Give out compliments

-Small/thoughtful gifts

-Random acts of kindness

-Volunteer your time

Keep in mind that people in your life are not obligated to do anything for you. So when you have people in your corner who are willing to do for you make sure you appreciate it. Don’t take those things for granted because those people and things won’t always be there. Appreciation the support system [family, good friends, or spouse] you have because everyone doesn’t have it.

When it comes to going after something, MINDSET plays a major part!! I know I often bring up the importance of having a strong mindset, but it is a very vital point of growth. If you’re not mentally strong for the journey things won’t go the way you anticipate it to go. 

When things get in the way and it’s a lot of people folding on their goals and dreams you have to keep in mind that you want more. By putting in more effort, pain, sacrifice, and courage you will have more. While you’re putting in all of this work you will gain more reward. 

You have to put in your head that you’re far from ordinary and you won’t settle for anything that’s average. By doing so you’ll lead to cutting out all excuses. Instead of using excuses, try using responsibility, accountability, and pure hard work. You have to be able to hold yourself accountable for the things you’re doing and even the things you’re not doing.

You must work hard even when you’re the only one watching. This is where character is built; if you only put work in when people are watching you’ll stop when no one is. You should strive to not needing validation from any outside source around you.

Life gives you what you deserve; not what you want. If you don’t put in the necessary work you won’t get the results. No work, will lead to nothing. Some work will lead receiving the bare minimum in return. An overflow of work will lead to an overflow of reward. 

Make it your duty to always stay hungry; don’t ever become satisfied. Once you become satisfied you’ll never desire to want more. You’re in control of how big you set your goals. Some of your goals may seem crazy to ordinary and average individuals. That doesn’t mean you stop dreaming and wanting to accomplish those goals. You also decide what sacrifice needs to be made. Sometimes you have to give up certain things in order to make sure you get things accomplished. 

The thing that stands in the way of greatness and average, success and nobodys is DISCIPLINE. You have to find a way to be disciplined through any and every part of your life. If you don’t have discipline you will become easily distracted. 

Some people may try and bring up your past when they see that you’re trying to change for the better. As long as you keep in mind that your past doesn’t define you and it  doesn’t decide how your future will be. Your past has come and gone; it’s up to you to decide what your future will be like. It’s up to you to change the things you have control over. You’re more than your past!! KEEP GOING, I’M STILL AND FOREVER WILL BE ROOTING FOR YOU!!!

When it comes to growing apart from a person everyone doesn’t take it the same. There are some who hasn’t come to the realization that life will be full of changes. These changes will be things we enjoy and some things we don’t find pleasant.

Signs you’re outgrowing someone (friendship, relationship):

-The only thing you have in common is the past

-You’ve ran out of things to talk about

-You’re both in different seasons of life

-You don’t feel supported

-You constantly judge/criticize them

-You feel they’re replaceable

-You don’t talk as much as you used to

Once you’ve gotten to this point it’s okay to realize what’s going on. This doesn’t mean there’s some type of “beef” taking place between you and the other person. It can simply just mean you guys have outgrown each other and the season you had in each other’s life has come to a close.

 The question is, what do you do when you are in a place of growing apart from someone? 

Options:

-Let the friendship fade–reduce social interaction 

-Tell them how you’ve been feeling and end things gracefully 

When people no longer suit you it’s okay to walk away from them because at the  end of the day you’re in control of welcoming people into your life and also in control of saying good-bye to those who no longer serves a purpose in your life. If you decide to have the graceful talk; make sure the other person understand it’s “NO HARD FEELINGS! JUST GROWTH!”

When it comes to someone’s daily life there may be many roles they play. Some roles in people’s life: husband/wife, a parent, son/daughter, friend, employee, entrepreneur, and much more. If you don’t figure out how to balance all of the roles on your plate it will lead to burnout.

What is burnout? It’s a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion. Burnout is something that can take over your body and lead to you becoming very sick. You’ll even lose interest in the role you decided to take on. 

Some Signs of Burnout:

-Tired and drained most of the time

-Change in appetite or sleep habits

-Loss of motivation

-Feeling helpless and defeated

-Withdrawing from responsibilities 

-Isolation from others

-Taking your frustration out on others

-Procrastination

BALANCE IS THE KEY TO PREVENTING BURNOUT!!!

Tips on Keeping a Balanced Lifestyle:

-Take care of yourself–physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually 

-Become Organized–Time Management

-Set Goals and Boundaries

-Eat Healthy

-Exercise

-RELAX!

These Things Will Help:

-Improve Your Mindset/Mood

-Reduce Stress

-Boost Energy

-Improve Overall Well-Being

We all divide our time and energy into the different roles we may play in our life. If you practice having a balanced lifestyle you won’t have to divide things. With a balanced life you’ll be able to give one hundred percent to everything you do. In doing so, continue to keep in mind not to neglect your health. Don’t forget: TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!! Until next time!

We often go into each year with the phrase, “New Year, New Me”. Honestly once we cross over to the new year, we still have the same problems we previously had because we did nothing to solve them. So is it really New Year, New Me? It’s more like New Year, Same Me. 
The only way you can get out of the “Same You” bubble is to shift your mindset. If your mindset hasn’t changed from the previous year you’ll definitely end the new year the same way.
Everything you strive to do will start with a strong minded and positive mindset.

Some goals you may struggle with accomplishing year after year:

-Losing Weight

-Starting a Business

-Becoming More Healthy/Changing Diet

-Detaching Yourself From People/Things/Places

How will you do any of that with the same mindset? YOU CAN NOT AND YOU WILL NOT!! Your mental perspective has to change!

How to become more strong minded and positive?

-Acknowledge your emotions: if you’re aware of what/who makes you feel a certain way you can remove yourself when needed

-Write out your goals: you can hold yourself accountable, maybe share with someone so they can be your accountability partner

-Find healthy ways to deal with uncomfortable emotions

-Identify and replace unhealthy thought patterns: thoughts such as: comparing yourself to others, continuing to reflect on the past and how it hurt you, being afraid of change, and worrying about things you can’t control/change

-Practice positive actions: be around people who motivate you, exercise, or practice gratitude 

-LEARN TO SAY NO: this way you won’t overcommit to anything and you can work on the goals you set for yourself 

-STOP BLAMING OTHERS: take responsibility for your own problems 

-Say no to your inner critic: stop being so hard on yourself and continue putting effort in

I’ve struggled with certain things and staying consistent, but it’s all up to you. If you don’t accomplish the goals you set for yourself it will be all your fault. Then you’ll be going into the next year with the same exact issues. I’M ROOTING FOR YOU!! Prove to yourself that you can shift your mindset and begin accomplishing the goals you set for yourself in 2020! YOU GOT THIS!!! Until our next talk!