Heartbreak…it’s something that we’ve all experienced or will experience one day. Some have experienced it more than once. It’s one of those things that nobody asks for, but you’re forced to deal with the emotions around heartbreak when it comes about in our lives. Heartbreak doesn’t only happen in romantic relationships; it can be a friendship or a family member. In this specific post we’ll focus on romantic relationships.
Majority of the time we don’t see heartbreak coming. The person we’re with seems to be “it”, you’re no longer seeking to be with anyone else except that person. Even if signs begin to present “change” happening, we may still ignore those signs until it’s unbearable. This for the most part leads to you or the person you’re in a relationship with breaking up. This will result in your daily routine changing, which will cause you to dwell on certain things.
Questions you may ask yourself:
-what do I do now?
-how do I deal with missing him/her?
-why did he/she give up on me?
-what if he/she finds someone better than me?
-I’m tired of crying/being sad, when will this end?
-will I find somebody else I love as much as him/her?
-when should I start dating again?
These questions are the majority of the things I asked myself while dealing with a broken heart, but honestly it all reported back to “self” for me. I knew at some point this would conclude in me growing on a personal level. Especially the question, “when should I start dating again? and what if he finds someone better than me”. There’s no way you should go down the road of dating unless you know you have healed from the past relationship and now find yourself being whole/happy within yourself. And it’s natural to think about your ex finding someone else, but you should try and avoid comparing you and the “new person”. I stopped comparing when I realized just as well as it’ll be a new person for them, in time I will eventually make it to my new person as well.
Referencing my post from last week titled, “Let’s Talk About Happiness”. It’s best to have that happiness instilled within yourself because when your happiness is in some else’s hands that can get dangerous. And it will become even more difficult to bounce back from the heartbreak. This isn’t saying that if you’re happy and whole within yourself that heartbreak won’t hit you and affect you. This is saying that if you have a foundation within yourself it’ll be easier to bring yourself out of the hard time you’re going through. You’ll be able to motivate and encourage yourself. I also mentioned being able to forgive; this remains even if the person hasn’t apologized to you. It’s best you forgive them because it will help you move on and grow.
Tips that’ll help you through heartbreak:
-Don’t fight it, feel it:
–give yourself permission to feel every emotion
–if you need to cry, cry
-Don’t push people away: Let people be there for you
-Surround yourself around things/people you love
–this will begin to remove the negativity you’ve been thinking and feelings
-Focus on now
–don’t think to far out; take it one day even second at a time and focus on what you need now
Although this experience is something we all wouldn’t choose to go through; it’s also an experience that will teach you a lot in the end once you get through it.
Some things I’ve learned while dealing with heartbreak:
-A relationship can’t survive on “love” alone–It takes more
-Some doors are meant to close
-It isn’t always you
-Always keep your personal power over your happiness
-It’s okay to have people in your life you love and care about BUT don’t become dependent of them
-To never settle when I know things aren’t right
-In life, things won’t always go the way you want
-The relationship ending is a reset for you: You finally remember “YOU” again
-LIFE WILL GO ON!
No matter what, remember you’re human and give yourself permission to feel and heal from the heartbreak experience. I’m usually the “strong friend”, but in my time of heartbreak once I got to the point where I was okay with acknowledging the hurt I began to feel relief. Also, realizing that you’re more than likely holding on to the “idea or the thing” that person gave to you instead of them. The good thing about that is that it can be replaced.
The last thing I want to leave you with is a quote that kept me going, “What’s meant for you will not pass you. And what passes you is not meant for you.” Don’t spend time trying to force things to happen; what’s meant for you will happen at the exact time that it’s supposed to. If someone leaves you, yes it’s hard–it happened to me–but remember what’s for you won’t leave you. It also won’t require you giving all of you and getting little in return. Remember the love you deserve at all times. Do the work you need to in order to heal and don’t rush the process. The work is something that needs to be done because it will make you a stronger person. Love will find you at the aligned and designed time for your life and more than likely it will be unexpected. I’M ROOTING FOR YOU AND YOUR HEALING-THERE’S NO RUSH!
