When it comes to toxic relationships it can occur in relationships with family members, friends, and your spouse. We’re going to focus on toxicness with romantic relationships. These tips can also be used to help with other relationships as well. What does the word “toxic” mean?”– It means something containing or being poisonous material especially when capable of causing death or serious debilitation. This definition is geared towards a chemical, but it much so can be used to define relationships that are unhealthy and mean you no good.
Three steps when it comes to dealing with toxic relationships:
- Identify it
- Leave the relationship
- Heal from the relationship
How to identify the toxic relationship/ask yourself these questions?
-How does individual treat others?
-How does the individual deal with conflict?
-How does this person make you feel when you’re with them?
-Is the relationship one-sided? Are you the one always giving without getting anything in return?
Red Flags:
-Lying/manipulative/controlling
-Can’t communicate effectively/deal with conflict/listen to your concerns
-Can’t own up to their mistakes and constantly blaming others
-Any forms of abuse (physical, emotional, sexual, or psychological)
How can toxic relationships affect you?
-It can cause lots of trauma, which can lead to depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, and self-harm
–you’ll begin to feel as if you’re not good enough or worthless
–you’ll become isolated, sad, and stressed
–you can develop toxic traits within yourself
Reasons you may choose to stay:
-History/Comfort
-Denial
-Fear of Being alone
-Thinking of your partner’s feelings
Leaving won’t happen overnight. Despite all those things you want to remember self. Choose yourself over all of the pain you’re experiencing from that person.
What’s next after you leave the relationship?
Once you’ve successfully removed yourself from the relationship the most important thing needed to be done is HEAL HEAL HEAL!!!! No matter if you were in the relationship for 4 months or 4 years you’ll have to heal from the things you’ve experienced.
Why is it important to heal before moving on to dating someone else?
-Hurt people, hurt people–if you haven’t healed you’ll more than likely end up hurting the next person you date
-You’ll bring the toxic traits into the next relationship
-There will be some trauma that will take place and you’ll develop some triggers
Sometimes you won’t be able to work through the trauma alone; it’s perfectly fine to look for professional help through the difficult times you’re experiencing.
Other things you will want to do:
-Be around positive people/support system (family/friends)
-Adopt things that can help with your self-care (reading, writing, or maybe exercising)
-Don’t be afraid to share your story and what you learned from it
-Take note of the things you need to work on
-Identify things that interest you (join a club, do volunteer work, find a hobby)
-Take time to get to know yourself and fall in love with you again
Once you’ve healed and you’re ready to begin dating again:
-Have a positive and open-minded attitude
-Remove all negative thoughts
-Recognize that you deserve to be loved properly/genuine happiness
-Don’t compare anyone you’re dating to your ex
-Don’t be in the rush to find “The One”
We’ve talked talked about unexpected change. In the journey of finding true love, sometimes we have to experience certain things to where we can learn from them. Through these things you’ll be able to identify the things you do not want in a significant other. True love doesn’t hurt. Most importantly, you can’t love someone or expect someone to love you if you don’t truly love yourself. Self-love comes first: before, during, and after a relationship!
Feel free to send me any suggestions on what you want to read about next. Until our next talk!!
